It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”
It may come, gentle readers, as somewhat of a surprise to discover that Jane Austen’s classic novel has, until this day, been an abridged version and that the novel in its totality was not released unto the public to spare the timid and those that dwelt in blissful ignorance, nay, in naivety of the true horrors that did stalk the English countryside that fateful day. It is only know that we can reveal what truly took place and thus in all its goresome entirety we present Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
This is not a joke people. Pride and Prejudice is being rewritten – with zombies. This news article explains it a bit more.
And the following excerpt is to whet your appetite.
“Come, Darcy,” said Mr. Bingley, “I hate to see you standing by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”
“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it.”
“I would not be as fastidious as you are for a kingdom! I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and several of them are uncommonly pretty.”
Before Mr. Darcy could respond, a chorus of screams filled the assembly hall, immediately joined by the shattering of window panes. Unmentionables scrambled in, their movements clumsy yet swift; their burial clothing in a range of untidiness.
Guests who had the misfortune of standing near the windows were seized and feasted on at once. Elizabeth watched Mrs. Long struggle to free herself as two female dreadfuls bit into her head, cracking her skull like a walnut, and sending a shower of dark blood spouting as high as the chandeliers.
It is currently up on Amazon for those who may be interested.
Mist and Shadows 