I think I need to reset the month. Or reload an earlier save point. There is actually a race in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series that can do that – the Yetis. Their species has gone extinct three times, but they have the ability to reload their lives to an earlier save point – and retain the knowledge of what caused their deaths so they can avoid it next time around. I could really use that.
Last month was a great month for writing – I made some real progress and started this month full of optimism. So far it has turned out abysmally. There is still time to turn it around, but it is getting harder to do so.
I should be writing – I want to be writing. When I’m not, I always have ideas and plots and characters and stories burning a hole in my mind pretty much every single second of the day. I’ve wanted to be a writer ever since I can remember. The problem is that when I sit down the words just don’t flow. All those scenes in my head, the words I set down just don’t match it. There appears to be a blockage between the head and the keyboard. It isn’t writer’s block as I am never short of ideas – in fact I have a lifetimes worth of ideas for novels and short stories crammed up in my head just waiting to get out. A large part of it I think has to do with self-doubt, a worry that, despite the images in the head, the stories won’t quite be good enough. Subconscious sabotage in effect. Trying to force the words hasn’t really worked, nor bribery or coercion.
What I think I need is someone to do all that writing for me – I’ll do all the brainstorming and plotting and creation of ideas and scenes and characters and the like and let someone else come up with the words to express it properly.
Its a nice idea, but not really likely, so its back to the grind I must go.